Good communication is essential to managing finances successfully with your spouse.
Posted on
Money is a large part of your life, and you must deal with it every day. It affects your lifestyle, family, and your future. However, not all couples are on the same page about their finances. Couples may have conflicting money views, which can lead to a lot of problems.
At some point, every marriage will face some type of financial issue. It could be a job loss, unexpected medical bills due to illness or surgery, or not enough money to pay the bills due to a lack of money management skills. Whatever the reason, you and your spouse must sit down and discuss your finances and the problems you are facing. Money talks are not easy and often end in fights or arguments the leave both partners feeling angry, stuck, and alone. If you are tired of arguing or fighting about money with your spouse, it’s time to try a better way.
Start with a positive approach to finance discussions.
Set a convenient time to talk, so you won’t be distracted. Casually talk about 3 things each of you would like to do in the future together. Talking about your dreams for the future can help take the animosity out of dealing with your money. Voicing your goals gives you a sense of purpose and direction.
Be Honest About How You Are doing Financially.
Choose another time to sit down with your spouse and be honest about how you are doing financially. Relieve financial stress and resentment in your marriage by being open about your spending and the amounts in your financial accounts. If your financial situation is not that good, talk calmly about what could be causing the problem.
Don’t play the blame game.
Blaming puts your spouse on the defensive. When someone feels they are being attacked, they will likely switch from a co-operative to a self-defense mode. The only thing blaming will accomplish is to shut down the conversation. Approach the discussion with “I” statements rather than “You” statements.
“I feel that I do not have much input into our finances.”
“You never discuss financial things with me…”
The “I feel...” statement is non-threatening, whereas the “You never discuss…” statement immediately puts your spouse on the defensive.
Work together to create a budget you can stick to.
Instead of living paycheck to paycheck to pay your day-to-day expenses, make achieving your financial goals a priority. Use a budget template to determine exactly where you stand financially and track your earnings, expenses, and savings every month. A budget will help you see where your money is going and identify areas where you can reduce spending to pay down debts and increase your savings. You can find the official Google Sheets Budget template here.
Identify your financial goals.
Getting your spending under control is financial management. You also should start to identify your short-term and long-term goals. For example:
Short term financial goals could include saving for a down payment for a home, paying off debt, building and emergency fund, etc. Long term goals could be saving for a child’s education, investing for retirement, or paying off your mortgage. Determining your goals keeps you motivated to work towards achieving them.
Develop Your financial plan.
Now that you have determined your goals and built a monthly budget to keep expense on track, work together to determine a financial plan to reach your financial goals and ensure you have financial security.
Make your Finances a Joint Effort.
Many money problems can arise when one spouse makes the financial decisions, balances the checkbook, and invests the money. Marriage is a partnership, so both partners should have a voice in the financial decisions for spending and investing your money. Share the financial workload and discuss how you are doing financially on a regular basis. You are building your finances to prepare for a happy lifetime together, so both should be part of that building.
If you're struggling with relationship issues, consider using Marriage In a Box as a resource. This platform provides access to tools and techniques professionals use for relationship counseling. You can set goals, earn rewards, and find marriage coaching services on the site. Check out the available kits and sources of information online to improve your relationship.
Sign up for a free trial of the Marriage In A Box online tracking tool!